THE DARKNESS

Starring: Kevin Bacon, Radha Mitchell, David Mazouz

Writers: Shayne Armstrong, Shane Krause, Greg McLean

Director: Greg McLean

*** THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS ***

You know how it is. One minute you're enjoying a family holiday in the Grand Canyon, the next you're back home and the place is plagued with all sorts of supernatural occurrences, No? Well, that's what happens to the Taylors in this movie. Top holiday tip? Don't bring back black rocks with symbols on them as their son Mikey (Mazouz) does. Of course, dad Peter (Bacon), mum Bronny (Mitchell) and sister Stephanie (Lucy Fry) have no idea about the black rocks. If they did, it would have been a much shorter movie...

...which might not have been such a bad thing. The Darkness creaks and trundles its way to the hour and a half mark with no sense of energy or urgency. Certainly by the halfway point I was tempted to shout "Get on with it!" at the screen. You shouldn't shout at the screen though, there are rules of cinema etiquette which must be adhered to. So there I was, internally shouting "Get on with it!" at the screen, with no hope that the film would actually get on with it.

There are many things which make this more disappointing than if it had just shown up out of nowhere with no names attached. The director, Greg McLean, knows how to terrify audiences. I loved Wolf Creek and enjoyed its gorier, dafter sequel. Okay, this isn't pitched at the same audience and it's not surprising that there's nothing here which approaches the ferocity of McLean's outback chillers but there are several serviceable set-ups which promise suspense but don't deliver. There are less cheap jump scares than you'd expect in something like this, which is a blessing, but the over-reliance on creeping around dark places in the house becomes humdrum in a very short space of time.

You can't say they've skimped on the acting talent either. Bacon and Mitchell have been great in other horrors (I'm thinking Stir Of Echoes and Pitch Black) and, to be fair, they're far from terrible here but their characters didn't grab me sufficiently to care too much about them beyond hoping that they weren't bumped off by the spirits from beyond. Marital infidelity is one of the sub-plots and this could have been quite interesting but it's ultimately dealt with in such a perfunctory way that I felt the movie was just ticking off things it needed to resolve before the end credits.

The support's none too shabby either. Jennifer Morrison, Matt Walsh, Ming-Na Wen, Paul Reiser (yes, Burke from Aliens) - all present, all given very little to do. Morrison and Walsh are introduced at the beginning as Joy and Gary Carter, friends of the Taylors who also happen to be holidaying with them and then....that's it. Once Bacon and Co. are back home and the weirdness kicks off, that's it for the Carters. You don't see them again. They don't crop up in conversation. The Taylors don't even call the Carters to see if their house has been possessed too. That's more spooky than the black rocks if you ask me.

Come the end you do get a decent dollop of CGI malevolent ghost action as an attempt is made to cleanse the house of its evil but even then this seemed to be a riff on the climax of the original Poltergeist. Yes, it was by far the most enjoyable stretch of The Darkness for me but couldn't overcome the general feeling of "I've seen this before, and I've seen it done better".

I really wanted to enjoy this movie but it's just another tired studio horror flick which is lacking in inspiration and, crucially, scares. The only reason you'd be looking over your shoulder after this one is to make sure someone hadn't stuck a piece of paper on your back saying "Kick me - I paid money to watch The Darkness". Release Greg McLean from the teen-friendly horror shackles and he can definitely bring the fear but this watered-down chiller risks pleasing absolutely no one.

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I SAW THE LIGHT

Starring: Tom Hiddleston, Elizabeth Olsen, Bradley Whitford

Writer: Marc Abraham

Director: Marc Abraham

The brief, troubled life of singer/songwriter Hank Williams (played by an authentically slim Hiddleston) is chronicled in writer/director Marc Abraham's restrained biopic. Playing to a small audience in a very early morning slot on a local radio show Williams is sure he's destined for bigger and better things, such as appearing at the Grand Ole Opry, but his rise to fame is blighted by relationship problems and health issues.

If you're going to take on the story of Hank Williams then you'd better make damned sure the musical performances are up to scratch and Hiddleston gives us impressive, extremely enjoyable renditions of classic tunes that will make you wish the movie had crammed in more of them. It's a reminder of just how brilliant Williams' compositions were and I'm probably not the only person who watched this and then had Hey Good Lookin' going round their head for the rest of the day.

There's no doubt that the soundtrack is nothing short of amazing and if the rest of the movie had been so engaging I'd have been marking this one as a classic in the making, As it is, the generally low-key approach is at once refreshing and frustrating. It's good to see that the fiery relationship between Williams and wife Audrey (Olsen) is portrayed mostly via pithy, barbed, well-written dialogue rather than screaming matches and thrown crockery but personally I felt that the drama was a little too underplayed for its own good.

Still, there's much to enjoy in the quality of the performances. Hiddleston has the look down pat and the acting chops to match so you won't be wondering why Loki from the Thor and Avengers movies is singing Your Cheatin' Heart. Olsen is terrific so you won't be wondering why Scarlet Witch from that Avengers movie is shacked up with that guy who looks a bit Loki from the Thor and Avengers movies. Cherry Jones is imposing as Hank's formidable mother and Bradley Whitford makes the most of a smaller but significant role as music publisher and friend Fred Rose.

Overall, then, a curate's egg of a movie. The musical numbers are worth the price of admission but the film as a whole left me feeling somehow unsatisfied. There are several effective moments along the way but ultimately it's overlong and lacking the spark to truly captivate. And that's not me playing the steel guitar, as has been suggested elsewhere.

GREEN ROOM

Starring: Anton Yelchin, Imogen Poots, Patrick Stewart

Writer: Jeremy Saulnier

Director: Jeremy Saulnier

After playing a gig in a remote backwoods club to an audience which seems to comprise mainly of neo-Nazi skinheads, punk rock band The Ain't Rights are packing up their gig and getting ready to leave as quickly as possible. Unfortunately they stumble upon the aftermath of a violent crime and are plunged into a desperate fight for survival as the club's owner Darcy (Stewart) decides that The Ain't Rights ain't right and need to be eliminated...

Jeremy Saulnier's previous film was the wonderful Blue Ruin, a memorable take on the revenge thriller which transcended its low, low budget to give us something beautifully shot, brilliantly acted and thoroughly involving. In the final analysis, Green Room may not be quite as distinctive as Blue Ruin but that takes nothing away from the fact that it's an almost unerringly tense piece of work, punctuated by bursts of startlingly brutal and gory violence (it's an 18 certificate in the UK and the rating is warranted). Once the battle lines are drawn, you're given very little opportunity to catch your breath and collect yourself.

The film's opening act skilfully fills in enough detail about the main characters for the audience to get to know them and therefore care about them when the brown stuff hits the rotating blades. These are not disposable characters in a guessing game of who's going to die and in what order (although you can do that if you like - you might get it wrong), you're presented with four different people, each with their own quirks. Kudos to Yelchin, Alia Shawkat, Joe Cole and Callum Turner for convincing not only as individuals but as a cohesive unit who would work well together in a band.

Initially, the band came across to me (and no doubt a few others) as a little pretentious - doing the earnest muso thing by denouncing social media in an interview and pointing out that all that matters is the live music experience - but as the minutes passed they became more and more likable and by the time they threw in a provocative cover of a Dead Kennedys song to a roomful of snarling white supremacists I was won over completely. All of which makes it so much harder when they're put in peril. And trust me, there's a whole load of peril.

Also along for the ride is skinhead girl Amber (Poots), a friend of the crime victim and also on Darcy's hitlist. From the beginning Amber is intent on fighting back - much more so than most of the band - but the character's resourcefulness never feels improbable and she doesn't transform into the kind of kick-ass action heroine that would prove too tempting for the vast majority of films in the genre.

In general the people on the other side of the Green Room aren't as well drawn, mostly because the film doesn't spend the same amount of time with them as it does with the Ain't Rights. However, Saulnier regular Macon Blair turns in another fine performance, portraying a man at ill at ease with his surroundings as his lead role in Blue Ruin but for somewhat different reasons.

As for Patrick Stewart, he looks like he's relishing his part as a very, very bad guy indeed. Again, the movie doesn't opt for the rabid, shouty, villainous archetype that it would have been so easy to employ. Darcy is calm, rational and businesslike about what has to be done and Stewart only needs to hint at the anger which lurks under the surface of an extremely dangerous man. He's in such control over the proceedings that you have to wonder if there's any chance of escape.

The standoffs are tautly wound, the gruesome action set-pieces are executed with brio and the 95-minute running time passes by in a blink. Green Room is an exciting, energetic rush of a thriller which will almost certainly delight those of a non-squeamish disposition and it's a movie that further confirms the blazing talent of Jeremy Saulnier. Can't wait for his next one.



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DARLING

Starring: Lauren Ashley Carter, Brian Morvant, Sean Young

Writer: Mickey Keating

Director: Mickey Keating

Darling (Carter) takes a house-sitting job in a building with a somewhat grim history, the tragic events of the past related to her by the property's owner (Sean Young in wonderful, amusingly icy form). You see, she shouldn't mention what went on but...

It isn't very long before the young woman's left on her own to take care of the place and it isn't very long after that when things take an eerie turn. Just who or what is making those noises that can be heard all over? Was there something lurking in the shadows? What's behind that permanently locked door? And what about that guy (Morvant) she met? Did they stumble across each other purely by chance or was it a calculated play on his part?

Mickey Keating's black and white chiller skilfully mixes atmospheric, suspenseful, disquieting horror with an arthouse eye for a beautifully composed scene. Every frame of Darling looks achingly gorgeous which often contrasts intriguingly with the grisly on-screen action. Yes, the plot may be on the slight side - girl moves into building, strange things happen - but there's enough substance here for the proceedings not to be swamped by the dazzling style.

Even if the stunning visual craft of the piece isn't the kind of thing that would normally win you over on its own the other reason you really should see this is the absolutely astonishing performance given by Lauren Ashley Carter in the title role. Many of her scenes are wordless and involve no one else but who needs dialogue and supporting players when you have an acting talent this mesmerising to watch. She draws you into Darling's world with artistry, her memorably and impressively haunted visage staying with me long after the end credits rolled. If you've ever seen Brief Encounter I'd like to say that Lauren Ashley Carter is arty horror's Celia Johnson, only far more haunted.

Of course, this is far from just 78 minutes of haunted looks but to say too much more about Darling the film and Darling the woman would be too much of a spoiler other to mention that Lauren Ashley Carter convinces throughout as a character who can be shy, sweet, suspicious, scared or scary (and many other things beginning with 's'). Hers is a bravura display which deserves to be seen as widely as possible, as does this strange, unnerving and sublime movie. This is horror that works hard to create deep-seated unease in the viewer rather than rushing to pile up bodies and is all the better for it. In fact it's fabulous, darling.

MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING 2

Starring: Nia Vardalos, John Corbett, Michael Constantine
Writer: Nia Vardalos
Director: Kirk Jones

*** THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS ***

The sequel to the 2002 original promises a bigger, fatter, Greeker wedding than the first time around. Don't panic folks, Toula (Vardalos) and Ian (Corbett) are still hitched but this time the nuptials focus on Toula's parents Gus (Constantine) and Maria (Lainie Kazan) who, it turns out, where never officially married because the requisite signature was never scribbled on their marriage certificate. Okay, it's not exactly The Usual Suspects in terms of labrynthine plotting but who cares? I thought the first one was quite sweet and funny and there's been a 14-year gap to polish up all of the old jokes and unveil a load of new gags, right?

No.

For me, ninety-four minutes has rarely passed as slowly but even so I do feel a genuine sense of guilt that I didn't enjoy this at all because it's an unrelentingly good-natured piece of work and it tries very hard to capture exactly what made the first Big Fat Greek Wedding such a hit. Unfortunately, it couldn't have been wider of the mark.

Chief amongst its many problems is the fact that for a comedy this just isn't funny enough. Or, to put it another way, it just isn't funny. The situation contains plenty of potential laughs but the script constantly puts on the brakes when things are about to become too absurd. Come on, go full-on absurd, it's not a documentary. Also, having large groups of people charging from one place to another while jaunty comedic music plays in the background doesn't really work as a joke. It certainly doesn't work enough to have it repeated, so it's pleasing to note that it's only used the once....oh no, here it comes again.....and here it comes again....

It's great that all of the cast from the first movie has returned for the sequel, it's not so great that most of them are given a big fat zero to do. This doesn't just affect the supporting players, it stretches to the leads too. Part of the plot is that Toula and Ian's marriage supposedly isn't going so well but it isn't developed sufficiently to make the audience think there's anything truly at stake other than the fact that they haven't spent a lot of time with each other of late.

This can also be said of the issues they're having with their daughter Paris (Elena Kampouris, who gives good exasperated high school kid here and deserves a better movie in which to appear). Toula's a bit of an embarrassment to Paris. Toula wants Paris to stay in Chicago and go to college there. Paris wants to go to college elsewhere. Again, there's potential for comedy and drama even if it's not the most sophisticated of set-ups but the writing doesn't take it anywhere that's remotely interesting or amusing.

And the wedding itself? No real sparks there either other than a predictable attack of cold feet at the last moment followed by a not-wholly-convincing resolution, followed by a not-wholly-convincing resolution to Plot B, followed by a not-wholly convincing resolution to Plot C. In all, a big fat disappointment. Yeah, like you didn't know that one was coming...

THE BOY

Starring: Lauren Cohan, Rupert Evans

Writer: Stacey Menear

Director: William Brent Bell

Fleeting from an abusive relationship, American nanny Greta (Cohan) arrives in England to take on a job at a predictably grand and - horror flick trope ahoy! - predictably secluded house in the country. Less predictable (well, if you haven't seen the trailer or read a synopsis of the plot) is that Brahms, the child Greta has been tasked with looking after, is a life-sized doll which has come to represent the son of her employers as the result of a past tragedy. Left with a set of rules as to the way she must take care of Brahms, Greta immediately dispenses with those rules. Of course, that's exactly when weird and spooky things begin to happen...

Okay, it's not a game-changer in terms of horror movies but I was pleasantly surprised and entertained by The Boy. Yes, it does have a couple of jump scares that don't even turn out to be real (it's those pesky dream sequences again) but in general director William Brent Bell pays a lot of attention to the eerie atmosphere of the piece rather than just load up the movie with those haunted house "BOO!" moments of which I tire more and more quickly these days. Not that you won't be waiting for things to leap out whenever our heroine is wandering yet another dimly-lit corridor, mind.

To be honest I don't mind jump scares so much when they're woven into a reasonably intriguing story and there's a pretty decent little thriller at the heart of this as Greta attempts to make sense of the supernatural events taking place with the help of local grocery shopkeeper Malcolm (Evans). The Walking Dead's Cohan makes for an engaging heroine, both afraid of and fascinated by the mystery in which she's found herself and her amateur sleuthing keeps the plot ticking along nicely. The whole thing is paced well and drip feeds the viewer with just enough clues to keep the guessing game interesting until the ultimate reveal which, although easy to pick holes in if you so wish, works within the confines of the plot and makes for at least one winningly creepy moment.

Considering one of William Brent Bell's previous movies, The Devil Inside, seemed to delight in winding up the unnecessary, shrieking hysteria to 11 far too often for my liking, The Boy is much more measured and resists the temptation to over-egg the pudding. For many people the very sight of a doll sitting in a chair and looking in their direction is scary enough and the film-makers are canny enough to understand this. If you're an out-and-out gorehound you'll need to look elsewhere for your fix but if you prefer not to swim in blood and guts this should fit the bill quite nicely.

THE WITCH

Starring: Anya Taylor-Joy, Ralph Ineson, Kate Dickie
Writer: Robert Eggers
Director: Robert Eggers

Banished from a plantation as a result of accusing his fellow settlers of being false Christians, the puritanical William (Ineson) travels out into the wilderness with his wife (Dickie) and five children. Setting up a farm, the family hopes to live off the land and uphold their devout Christian values but a nightmarish chain of events will test not only their faith but their trust in each other. And does eldest daughter Thomasin (Taylor-Joy) know more than she's letting on?

Robert Eggers' period piece may not be for those whose love of horror begins and ends with unstoppable killers appearing out of nowhere to hack up dim-witted victims. This is a slow-burner, replacing the "hand on the shoulder" shocks with an air of unrelenting unease throughout. It drips with atmosphere and the choice to use the dialogue of the time, replete with its use of "thee", "thy" and "thou", helps in transporting the viewer to a time and place where superstitions were rife and the fear of evil was all-consuming.

The Witch doesn't believe in spelling (sorry about the pun) everything out to its audience either. There's plenty of ambiguity here and ample opportunity to make up your own mind about exactly what's going on. Of course, this is going to delight or frustrate depending on how much explanation of the story you need in order to stay with it. Personally, I loved the fact that I wasn't clear as to who or what was behind the terrible happenings and found myself having genuinely no idea what was going to happen next.

The terror doesn't just spring from the fear of what might be out there, Eggers serving up some disturbing imagery including one particularly revolting moment that I have to admit took a horror fan such as myself aback (it involves one of our feathered friends but that's all I'm saying). When The Witch needs to show you it shows you but it knows that it doesn't need to rub your face in gore for it to succeed.

Ralph Ineson is terrific as the father, frustrated in his efforts to build a better life for his family but driven by a pride that may be the undoing of both himself and those in his care. Kate Dickie lends fine support as his wife, her character developing more in the movie's second half as the plot attempts to unravel the tightly-knit family unit by putting them (and the audience) through the psychological wringer.

As superb as both Ineson and Dickie are, the movie wouldn't work anything like as well if it didn't boast such marvellous work from Anya Taylor-Joy as Thomasin, at whom the finger is pointed for the supernatural wrongdoings. Her performance is incredibly subtle, even the most innocuous of lines delivered in such a way that you'll be driven to distraction attempting to work out whether or not she's a victim or a villain.

This movie is almost certainly going to prove divisive. It's a love or hate thing from start to finish and even if you're loving it at the beginning you might find yourself hating the ending. Without giving anything away, the climax of the movie takes quite a brave turn and could very easily have descended into the ridiculous but for me it worked terrifically well and the final shot was perfect. I'm pretty sure that there will be others out there who will think the final couple of minutes ruins what's gone before and I can understand why.

So, is this the scariest film ever? How can it be and why does it have to be the scariest ever? You can't go into this thinking you're going to be scared to death because you'll be expecting something that no movie can deliver, not just this one.

A lot of people will think The Witch is not scary enough because they gauge how scary a film by the number of times they jump. Well, there are very few jump scares in The Witch (if you ask me there's really just the one, it's a doozy though) but in my opinion being startled by a sudden noise or a hand shooting into frame to grab someone doesn't compare to the almost constant feeling of dread hanging over the proceedings here. This one got under my skin and left me thinking about it long after I'd left the cinema. I've seen it a second time and, if anything, I'm thinking about it even more now. That's what I'd call a scary movie.



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