SPECTRE

Starring: Daniel Craig, Christoph Waltz, Léa Seydoux

Writers: John Logan, Neal Purvis, Robert Wade, Jez Butterworth

Director: Sam Mendes

The 24th "official" James Bond movie sees the suave British secret agent on the trail of a sinister organisation responsible for a series of deadly attacks across the globe. All roads seem to lead to a shadowy figure by the name of Franz Oberhauser (Waltz) and Bond embarks on his usual continent-hopping antics to track down his target. Meanwhile, back at home, Bond's boss M (Ralph Fiennes) is battling to save the "00" programme which is under threat from the proposed implementation of an all-seeing, state-of-the-art computerised surveillance system which intends to replace agents in the field...

SPECTRE is wildly uneven, a curious mix of flashy, big-budget action and tedious, lumpen exposition (more of the latter, I'm sorry to say) which feels like the product of too many fingers in the franchise's attractively-packaged pie. It wants to be all things to all people, a shamelessly entertaining pulp thriller but also having something deeper to say about how information is gathered and used (and abused). Whilst I applaud the intention to mix old-fashioned spy thriller with an up-to-date techno paranoia drama the end result is somewhat schizophrenic - two rather different films working against each other and as such the coherence of the piece isn't always what it should be.

And yet it all begins so well - so jaw-droppingly well - with a beautiful, clever, extended tracking shot following Bond through the Day of the Dead parade in Mexico City, stunning female companion in tow. Of course, 007 isn't there to take in the sights, he's on the trail of a nasty bit of work by the name of Sciarra. This inevitably leads to a confrontation and an opening action sequence which ranks right up there amongst the best of the entire series with gunplay, explosions, collapsing buildings, a chase and then a dizzying fight which takes place both inside and outside a looping and twirling helicopter. It's the only time you'll ever be glad to hear Sam Smith's teeth-grindingly dreadful Bond theme because you're given a chance to catch your breath.

Unfortunately the rest of the film doesn't match its superb pre-credits promise, serving up a slice of curiously retro, often clumsily-written Bond action where the bad guy not only has a secret base but is also considerate enough to take the time to explain his villainous motivation to our hero instead of just bumping him off. Still, Oberhauser, the big bad of SPECTRE, is played by the terrific Christoph Waltz which means that any lines he's given, no matter how ridiculous, are imbued with a sense of quiet, effective menace. You're in safe hands with Waltz. Or, rather, you're in unnervingly unsafe hands.

Mind you, if you think Oberhauser is an underwritten and underused character - and you'd be right - just wait until you see how thinly sketched Seydoux's character is. Dr Madeleine Swann is hardly the modern incarnation of a Bond girl - initially, to be fair, her introduction hints that she may be more than a match for her foes but then the script immediately turns her into the damsel in distress which involves her getting kidnapped, pouting a lot, wandering around in her underwear for a bit and being generally ineffective against the bad guys save for one moment when her blundering about distracts Dave Bautista's Mr Hinx just enough for 007 to get a second wind at an opportune moment mid-scrap.

Mind you, if you think Seydoux is given short shrift - and you'd be right - the shrift handed to Monica Bellucci is about the shortest piece of shrift in the history of shrift giving. Take an iconic, brilliant, talented, stunningly beautiful actress with undeniable screen presence and have her play what is more or less a glorified walk-on part. Okay, you could call into question why Bellucci was interested in the first place but the top and bottom of it is that Bond meets her, rescues her from a couple of assassins, gets a bit saucy with her, finds out something which moves the plot along a smidge and that's about your lot for La Bellucci. No, no, no, SPECTRE, that just won't do.

More successful are the plentiful nods to Bond past, with a particular leaning towards the Connery era: a bruising fight on a train recalls From Russia With Love, as does a secondary character with more than a touch of Rosa Klebb about her; the new, high-tech Aston Martin has a distinctly familiar and low-tech series of switches to control its gadgets; another very familiar type of vintage car shows up to transport them to Oberhauser's place; an iconic animal of the series makes a reappearance. The list goes on.

The regulars mostly get a decent look in this time too. Ben Whishaw's Q is thrust into the thick of the action and he gives good nerd against Craig's effortless cool. Ralph Fiennes isn't the recipient of the same batch of shrift that was chucked at Monica Bellucci earlier and is awarded the screen time necessary to give us an interesting glimpse into the character of M. He looks to be having a ball here, ultimately delivering what I think is the film's funniest line with Bond-level aplomb. Naomie Harris is engaging as Moneypenny but after her action-heavy debut in Skyfall this movie generally has her run what are essentially admin tasks for 007 - vital to the mission but no bloody good in terms of interesting character development.

It's the flashes of inspiration - plus a few choice examples of dry banter - that just about hold the interest and raise some hope that the movie will eventually get its act together but at a whopping 148 minutes in length SPECTRE is too ponderous for its own good, scenes of interminable chit-chat taking the place of high-octane thrills. Even the climax doesn't get the pulse racing as it should, giving the audience a rescue mission against the clock that's lacking in any kind of suspense followed by a boat versus helicopter chase that aims for spectacular but hits the target marked "ho hum". Considering the fate of the world is on the line (as it normally is when Bond's around - if you see him, head for the hills....no, don't do that, that's where the bad guy will have built his underground lair) the movie never really convinces that the stakes are all that high.

As a fan of the Bond movies, I expected so much more of this, leaving the cinema with feelings of what could and should have been. It's nowhere near the worst of the franchise (step forward, For Your Eyes Only) but it's a very long way from the best. Given the prodigious talent both in front of and behind the camera the end product is inexplicably, frustratingly, deeply flawed. Pay attention, 007, you need to be back on your game in the 25th film.