FAST AND FURIOUS 7

Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jason Statham
Writer: Chris Morgan
Director: James Wan

Long-delayed due to the tragic death of Paul Walker, the seventh instalment of the rubber-burning franchise finally screeches on to the screen. This picks up where the last movie left off, with "legitimate English bad ass" Deckard Shaw (Statham) vowing to take care of the people who left his little brother Owen (Luke Evans) seriously injured. After visiting said brother in a hospital and instructing them in no uncertain terms to look after him, he then proceeds to destroy most of the place (???) and heads to Tokyo where he disposes of street racer Han in a repeat of the end of the previous movie to bring everything up to date. We're just after Tokyo Drift, which takes place after Fasts 4, 5 and 6, even though Tokyo Drift was number 3. Get it? No? Doesn't matter.

Anyway, one suspicious package delivery later which almost blows up Dom (Diesel), Brian (Walker), franchise spare part Mia (Jordana Brewster) and their kid, it's time to send Mia and son "somewhere safe" again where she can worry about hubby Brian from the sidelines and poor old Brewster can reflect upon what a duff role she's been saddled with whilst the guys vow to track down Shaw and make him pay for killing Han. Before long they've crossed paths with a shadowy Government agent (Kurt Russell) who involves them in a plot to retrieve a state-of-the-art tracking app called God's Eye (I'm not making this up - just you watch the movie) and to rescue a hacker called Ramsay whose knowledge of God's Eye will help the good guys track down Deckard. Get it? No? Doesn't matter.

Of course, to get the job done Dom needs a team and Russell's character has taken the liberty of reassembling the remainder of the old crew; computer whiz Tej (Ludacris), smooth operator/terminal irritant Roman (Tyrese Gibson) and, most problematic for Dom, still-suffering-from-amnesia Letty (Michelle Rodriguez bagging the closest thing this film is going to get to a proper character arc). Oh, did I mention that there's an international terrorist (played by Djimon Hounsou) who wants God's Eye for himself and will, as is usual in these things, stop at nothing to get it? Well, I have now and no, it doesn't matter. What does matter is that the plot is nothing more than a peg on which to hang a series of eye-popping, jaw-dropping action sequences which will leave you either exhilarated or shaking your head in complete disbelief. Or, certainly in my case, both. 

Let's be frank here. This is a Fast and Furious movie and you're not going into this looking for Shakespearean dialogue and a deep, rigorous examination of the human condition. At least I hope that's not what you're expecting - if so, have you seen any of the previous six? No, what you're looking for is Statham and Diesel fighting each other with the most enormous wrenches you've ever seen. You're looking for vehicles chasing each other down the side of the mountain. You're looking for The Rock taking on the bad guys with a minigun. You're looking for a sports car jumping from one skyscraper to another - and then doing it again. This is an alternate universe in which the normal laws of physics don't apply and the characters which inhabit it are nigh-on indestructible. At one point, two cars collide head-on at high speed and their drivers just stagger out, slightly dazed. If you're not going to be able to buy into this kind of thing then this film is going to drive you insane.

This is, of course, all about the action. Vehicles flip, twirl through the air and bounce end over end. Buildings explode. Structures collapse. When characters aren't diving from speeding cars or being blown across warehouses they're involved in extensive, property-damaging, ludicrous fight sequences. There's so much action that you might feel exhausted just watching it. Central to this ongoing orgy of mayhem is an astonishing twenty-minute sequence in which Diesel and his buddies have to rescue Ramsay by ambushing the armoured bus which is transporting her. This portion of the movie opens with cars dropping, James Bond-style, from a transport plane and just builds from there. I won't spoil any of the remainder of it but all I'll say is that if you saw some of it from the trailer there's plenty more that you didn't see there which is in the film. It's worth the price of the entrance fee alone.

Equally, the fact that the aforementioned sequence is so amazing causes a few problems for the rest of the film. How can the film-makers possibly top that? The answer is that they don't. The final confrontation does try very hard, it's certainly destructive enough and there's a dizzying amount of stuff going on as Dom's team scamper across L.A. but, certainly for me at least, it doesn't hit the inventive heights of their earlier escapades.

So, on to the cast. Diesel is as reliable as ever, you either like Gibson's schtick or you don't (personally I'm fine with it), Ludacris brings some good humour to the proceedings and Michelle Rodriguez at least tries to get a handle on the emotionally-tortured Letty whilst also kicking some serious ass - well, you can't have too much character development in this, can you? Statham proves to be an enjoyable bad guy but he just isn't on screen enough, the same can be said for Tony Jaa who shows up for a couple of terrific fight scenes but that's your lot. In fact, there are just too many characters for this film to carry so there are some casualties in terms of screen time, predictably Brewster (who's been shunted out so many times she must feel like a train carriage) and, not so predictably, Dwayne Johnson, whose appearances as Agent Hobbs more or less bookend the movie. If you're expecting to see a lot of The Rock, you won't.

As for Paul Walker, the movie keeps him in the proceedings with a combination of the footage that was already in the can, some digital trickery and the use of doubles shot in ways that you don't quite get to see their face. There are times when the effect is a little odd but for the most part it works. Of course, it's fitting that the movie ends with a tribute to him and after the previous couple of hours of ear-splitting nonsense it's nice to see just how quietly and reflectively the movie closes, with Diesel and Walker together on a road. The dialogue is poignant and obviously heartfelt and, guys, in this case you don't have to pretend you have something in your eye.

So the story doesn't make a lick of sense, the dialogue is often ridiculous (purposely so, I hope, in some cases) and realism takes a back seat at the world's largest auditorium but you know what? Doesn't matter. It's a handsomely-mounted, big-budget, exciting action film. It's loud, it's brash and it wants you to know it. Switch your brain to neutral, strap yourself in and enjoy this for what it is. Preferably on the largest screen you can find with the biggest sound system.